Oh Yes, January. This was brought up at work today, at what point is it okay to stop saying “Happy New Year.” After January 1st, January 15th, or the end of the month? For the purpose of this blog, and my plan to revitalize it, I’m going to go with the end of the month.  For that reason I will also say it’s ok to still post my favorite holiday outfit this year (or last rather).

I haven’t written in a while. But Dear Blog I have thought about you quite a lot and there are a few realizations that have surfaced.

– I really want to do this! I really really want to do this, but more than anything I want/need the energy to do this.

– I have commitment issues. Since I was 11 I would always start random personal websites (dot-com craze, I wanted mine too!) and then quit after a month or three. Life would be so good if I would have stuck with at least one of them.  But I was 11, can you blame me?

– I think I lack time, but really it’s there. I was originally a journalism major. Writing was my passion. Why don’t I do it enough anymore? It’s time consuming. I want to be dedicated again but for that I need to take advantage of my time.

– And most importantly, I need to do this for me, myself and I. No matter what happens, even if nobody reads what I write.

There are a few things that need to change in my life. The worst part of it, is that I know what they are and I just can’t motivate myself to change them.  Have you ever felt in a rut like this? It really is terrible.  I know that getting a bit more serious about this blog, has the potential to heal me.  So I decided I’m going to do it, I’m going to stick with it in my own way.  More than anything because I will use it as a therapy (a wayyy cheaper version).

I will write what I want, when I want (hopefully often).  I was a PR major in college, I know that blogs are supposed to be targeted and consistent, and stick to a topic or two in order for them to succeed, but do they really have to? I don’t want it to feel like I job, or like something I have to do every single day, because I don’t want to feel like a failure if it doesn’t work out that way.  And who knows it may actually turn into an intense thing for me in the future (I really have no way of telling).

All I know is that I want to write for the fun and freedom of it.  In other words, for me.  I know this probably sounds awful maybe even mean, and I know that because of this I can’t expect any followers to full on commit.  All I do ask is that if you like some of what you see/read that you hop on by once in a while.  It’s nice to get feedback sometimes, so that you don’t feel totally and completely insane.  Perhaps, maybe somebody out there understands where I’m coming from?

I love writing, which is why this has never been a typical style blog with minimal writing.  I apologize if you hate reading long blogs, but I like ranting and complaining and unfortunately that can easily add up to a 300+ word entry.  And I think ranting will provide the most therapy, and this is what it is after all right?  Other times though, I agree that photographs can speak even more, so hopefully you’ll see more of that.  I have tons I took this summer but then fall/winter came and I was too lazy to post anything.

There I said it, I’ve been lazy. Laziness is the culprit of my lack of motivation.  My boyfriend always jokes that I’m a sleepy Mexican, because it runs in my blood, and oh boy am I starting to believe it.  But it’s time for change.

3 Main Goals for the New Year

1. Exercise.  I hear that’s what gives you energy and takes the sluggish feeling away so that’s what I need to do. Not to lose weight, but to gain energy.  Isn’t this on everyone’s list?

2. Write.  Because I really need to do something interesting with my life right now.  And because I enjoy meeting other bloggers, and having your own blog is a great way to connect.  And because it was my first love.

3. Get a job I love.  I have a great job, or rather a job that provides a good income but really I need to get over that.  I’m still young and at this time have minimal responsibilities so it’s probably better to take that pay cut now than later.  For sure, by the fall I will be somewhere else (that’s the deadline I’m giving myself).  It’s exciting to know that I really have no idea where I will be this October. Preferably in a job where I don’t have to stare a computer screen all day so that I won’t avoid my computer when I get home. What are the chances of that happening in this day in age?

To wrap things up. Change is a good thing. I met an old friend for lunch today, and we talked about some projects that really got me excited (she’s fashion crazed like myself). I missed that feeling. I forgot how motivating she can be. I always thought she was but now that girl is in overdrive. She tried talking some sense into me. It really got me thinking that I can’t just wait around and expect things to magically happen. You have to work hard…really really hard. Seeing her do it really put things in perspective. I feel like some of her energy rubbed off on me today and I want to embrace it.

January is the perfect time to really kick things off.

I would love it if you stuck around, or hopped on back randomly, cause like I said, I have no idea which direction anything will take at this point and I really don’t want to be totally alone.  And if you don’t come back well, then at least I’m still taking advantage of the free therapy right?

Have an awesome 2011…Make it the year for change, I mean, Happy New Year?

~ Elsie

Twitter: @elsieayala

One thought on “January. Embracing the New Year. Change.

  1. hi lady! it was very nice catching up with you yesterday! i don’t even remember eating and ate more when i got home because our catch-up/conversation was so continuous and fluid!

    anyways, read this post i did.
    you can skip down to the last paragraph where it hits home.

    chin up!

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